NFL Week 4 Picks: (Skeleton) Touch Football

Weedsteeler Breaking News: This is the new QB for the Buffalo Bills; Teddy HeHateMe. He was voted most likely to get arrested by Cam’ron in a Dateline NBC sting for the Skeleton Touch Football League

I haven’t checked my record for last week. It probably sucks. Picks

Ravens (2-1) at Steelers (3-0)- This could be game of the week and coincidentally, “women shitting” was the number one search that led pervs to weedsteeler in the past week. I’m going Steelers in a game that will have less action than women shitting unless you’re into that kinda thing.

Jets (2-1) at Bills (0-3)- Bills are gonna get their skeletons touched in a disgusting manner.

Seahawks (2-1) at Rams (1-2)- This is one of those impossible to pick games sorta like who will die first Joan Rivers or Magic Johnson??? Does it matter? I’m going Rams because Seahawks don’t travel well.

49ers (0-3) at Falcons (2-1)- 49ers can’t do shit despite my feelings toward their success this season. Weeeelllllll shiiiiiitt. Falcons.

Lions (0-3) at Packers (*-*)- If you’re picking winners, go to Vegas with the Packers in a game that doesn’t deserve any more coverage.

Bengals (2-1) at Browns (0-3)- Bengals in the “SLIT YOUR WRISTS NORTH TO SOUTH BOWL”.

Broncos (1-2) at Titans (2-1)- I watched the Broncos game on Sunday and the real question is how do you pass for 400-some yards 1) IN A LOSS? 2) AND GET TWO SCORES. Could be compared to getting some dime piece in her birthday suit and then cutting off your own dick. Real cool. Titans.

Panthers (0-3) at Saints (2-1)- Just another Sunday of eating someone elses shit for the Panthers.

Texans (2-1) at Raiders (1-2)- CAN YOU FEEL MY PAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNN? Watching Texans are ill against a good team but this is the Raiders. Don’t watch. Texans

Colts (2-1) at Jaguars (1-2)- I also watched the Jaguars Sunday and all there is to say is Peyton will destroy these lames.

Redskins (1-2) at Eagles (2-1)- Philly is ready to act a fool when McNabb comes back to Philly. It seems pretty boring. Eagles.

Cardinals (2-1) at Chargers (1-2)- I had some plan to compare this to how bad west coast rap is but I don’t care. Chargers.

Bears (*-*) at Giants (1-2)- Has anyone seen those Oreo commercials that don’t make any sense starring Eli Manning? Dude, stop playing football because you are suspect. Go ahead, get rich eating cookies because Eli, you can’t play for shit. Bears goddamnit.

Patriots (2-1) at Dolphins (2-1)- this is the other great game for the week and this will at least have some action much like our NUMBER ONE SEARCHED ITEM OF ALL TIME. Indeed, The Black Eyed Peas, for some godforsaken reason is the number one term that leads our devoted readers to this pervy crypt of good ole racism, bigotry and the Amerikkkan way.  I’m going Dolphins but these motherfuckers better cover Welker and Moss better than they covered the Jets receivers.

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1 Comment

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One response to “NFL Week 4 Picks: (Skeleton) Touch Football

  1. Weedsteeler

    Forget the dog killer I want to see a wildcat vs wildcat superbowl. Heil satain.

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