NFL Week 5 Picks: Different type of bi-week, iykwis

Not sure of my record. I’ll do that later this week. PICKS.

Bears (3-1) at Panthers (0-4)- I get the feeling that one of these teams is suspect and the other is total garbage. I don’t quite sense the desperation out of the Panthers camp to win this. Bears.

Chiefs (3-0) at Colts (2-2)- can you figure this one out? Colts but if you are playing points, maybe the Chiefs.

Falcons (3-1) at Browns (1-3)- The win streak ends at 1, Brownies. Go back to being miserable.

Broncos (2-2) at Ravens (3-1)- I don’t foresee much action in this game. I figure a lot of field goals and punts. I’m going Ravens.

Giants (2-2) at Texans (3-1)- I really hate the Giants. I can’t explain it but the inconsistencies kill me. Texans have no secondary so that should mean Eli can throw the ball without fear. I’m taking Texans due to my blind hatred.

Rams (2-2) at Lions (0-4)- former cellar dwellers duke it out. Lion are tougher than they look on paper. Look at how the played the Pack last week. I’m taking Lions. Take it to Vegas and put a G on it.

Packers (3-1) at Redskins (2-2)- Redskins offense looks terrible but their defense looks great. I’ll take the Skins in a suprise win.

Bucaneers (2-1) at Bengals (2-2)- this game is more brutal than the Mexican pirate story on the news. I’m taking Bucs BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU LOSE TO THE BROWNS?

Jaguars (2-2) at Bills (0-4)- this type of game is like rom-coms for women. This game has been played a million times before. You can almost repeat the dialogue and yet people will still watch it. Jags.

Saints (3-1) at Cardinals (2-2)- Who would have thought Derek Anderson would have been benched? Cardinals are one of the worst that have somehow put two wins together. If you have Larry Fitzgerald on your fantasy team you are officially dumb as shit. Saints.

Chargers (2-2) at Raiders (1-3)- who wants it more? Actually, the question is who wants it less? Chargers don’t have anything to worry about yet so Raiders breeze.

Titans (2-2) at Cowboys (1-2)- this is a tough one. Cowboys have a week off to womanize and golf. Titans are coming off a loss (I think). I’m going Titans because I like to see America’s team squirm.

Eagles (2-2) at 49ers (0-4)- tough one here and it all hinges on the starting QB for Philly. I don’t know if you watched any of the Eagles game last week but Kolb looks like dogshit.

Vikings (1-2) at Jets (3-1)- Jets get Santonio back this week. Old man Farve will get punished. 1-4 isn’t the storybook start all you gaywads were hoping for. Jets.



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2 responses to “NFL Week 5 Picks: Different type of bi-week, iykwis

  1. thank god its a bye for the dolphins, I cant watch chad henne burn his own goddamn house down again. piece of shit fell asleep with the ciggy on the couch and let that 5’7 whiteboy from the Patriots piss on his dreams.

  2. brandon

    8-7 last week and 8-8 the week before.

    Dolphins fired their special teams coach. Serious bidness….

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