My dog just puked while I was working on this which could mean a multitude of things. Either he is sick, this week is going to suck, the Bills might win. Who knows…. Picks
Ravens (6-2) at Falcons (6-2)- Bullshit Thursday night game. Throwaway game without any divisional implications though now that I think about it the Steelers played the Falcons and won sooooo this game has some merit. I think these two teams are pretty even and I will take the Falcons since it is in ATL.
Lions (2-6) at Bills (0-8)- Remember going to gym class and the special education kids would ball so fucking hard? Totally getting destroyed playing dodgeball and destroying their special ed classmates. This game is like that. Bottom of the heap, fighting for relevance, wanting to get noticed. Both teams are like retard sharks, circling one another. Two weeks in a row I am picking the Bills. Remember that this blog is for sick fucks.
Texans (4-4) at Jaguars (4-4)- tied for last in a division that is looking suspect this season. Flip a coin, really. The defense is shit. The offense is above average. See retard shark phenomenon. I’ll take Texans.
Titans (5-3) at Dolphins (4-4)- Dolphins have no wins at home and need to turn the ship around if they are even hoping wild card (which may be a loooonnnggggg shot). Titans.
Vikings (3-5) at Bears (5-3)- both of these teams are pissing in the wind. Despite the Bears winning record they are an angels pube away from falling apart. Sunday is the day. Vikes.
Jets (6-2) at Browns (3-5)- while I don’t think the Browns are gonna win this one, it will be a hell of a lot closer than you think. Take that to Vegas. My grandfather is really into the Aryan-ness of Hillis and McCoy. The Cleveland (Aryan) Browns has a certain ring to it.
Bengals (2-6) at Colts (5-3)- Did anyone not see the Bengals falling apart? Colts bounce back from the Philly loss.
Panthers (1-7) at Buccaneers (5-3)- Bucs. Watch this shitty Robocop rip off trailer instead (because I have nothing to say about this game)
Chiefs (5-3) at Broncos (2-6)- Tim Tebow is working on a goddamn book. Dude is 23 and writing a memoir. I’ll sum it up, I use my “faith” to go balls deep in women. Vol. 2 is tenatively titled “2014: The Year Jesus Failed My AIDS Test”. Chiefs.
Seahawks (4-4) at Cardinals (3-5)- I can’t write anything about this game. Cards. Watch this instead…
Cowboys (1-7) at Giants (6-2)- Gee, the Cowboys fired that old dude. Who didn’t see that coming? Who can’t see the ass kicking that the Giants are going to deliver?
Rams (4-4) at 49ers (2-6)- this will be the Rams test for the season. They almost pulled out a road win against TB. I’ll take the Rams.
Patriots (6-2) at Steelers (6-2)- a showdown here for Sunday night and a likely playoff game. I’ll take the Steelers in the best televised game this season.
Eagles (5-3) at Redskins (4-4) this is a tough one but I’m going Eagles.