Weed$teeler Unholy Gift Guide: 2010 Music Lovers Edition

Here at Weed$teeler, the staff serves many different roles in running a successful blog (into the ground). There are Grammy nominated artists, martial artists, semen artists and most importantly extremists with impeccable taste. We here at Weed$teeler are dedicated to ensuring that you make the correct purchases for your loved ones this holiday season. That said, here comes the first installment of Weedsteelers Unholy Gift Guide: 2010 Music Edition.

Sadly, this year you’ve drawn your cousin in the family gift exchange. Easily, worst case scenario. The cons here are huge; lesbian haircut, Mark McGrath super-fan, only has a knowledge of music circa 1998 MTV TRL. What do you get it? The list you’re provided look like dog shit. U2 concert DVD, Red Hot Chilli Peppers “hits” (because it is ruined), 1st Eminem CD. Looking at this list has to be the most aggravating thing. Well, if you want to properly “enlighten” and dump all over “rock” music then make the purchase of Les Rallizes Denudes “heavier than a death in the family”

I’ll break it down in a sentence; Japanese Velvet Underground. I would say that rock music ended here.

Buying gifts for the indie snob in your life
has to be a goddamn drag. I mean people get legit excited over Sufjan Stevens?!

Is this a elementary school play or some fucking rock and roll? I’d go with the former. All this kindergarden shit has to stop and why not bum out your Iron and Wine loving nephew with some real fucked up stuff? Life isn’t like kindergarden, browe. Life is real messed up as our extended coverage of murder week proves.

Brainbombs are the yin to the yang. They are no secret to Weed$teeler and instead of posting a youtube video, I’ll post lyrics. From the song “Kill Them All”

If you have the power,
then use it and kill them all
you got the right
to make them crawl
Stab her until she’s all red
penetrate her asshole
with a twelve inch nail
Blood mixed with shit
mixed with blood, rape her
and fucking dominate her
a feast on blood
on your lucky day
If you have the power, then
use it and kill them all
you got the right
to make them crawl
And kill them all…

Nearly the entire Brainbombs back catalog has been reissued this year. Check with Load or Armageddon for availability.

Pop-punk fans are the worst
couple my blind hatred of pop-punk with the idea that every 5-10 years a mammoth Japanese hardcore record comes out makes Kriegshog’s s/t juggernaut this years must buy gift for the wimpiest of your family members. Sold out nearly instantly, the Kriegshog LP will serve as this years Elmo or Cabbage Patch Doll or whatever out of touch suburbanites are trying to track down for their crust punk son. Why would you buy it for a Screeching Weasel fan? Why not?
How can you go wrong with a cover like this?

Those mark three of the more crucial music releases that any discerning music fan should own. If you need any other suggestions, please post in the comments where our highly paid and highly trained staff will be sure to ridicule you.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Weed$teeler Unholy Gift Guide: 2010 Music Lovers Edition

  1. My dude over at whole foods was tryin to tell me to get hip to kriegshog.

    I appreciate that I couldnt find much on the web about them, kinda like when tragedy/hhig were all anti-internet in 2001.

  2. andrew marc

    You forgot about this:

  3. THE GOSSIP CZAR

    just copped the kriegs-what ever record…

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