Are you sick of Old Media sucking the dicks of the highest paying advertisers in the form of a year end list? well, so am i. don’t get me wrong, i love good jaw as much as the next guy. Being the diabolical hater that i am, there is nothing i hate more than knowing someone else is getting their dick sucked, even if i am getting head myself. So instead of letting Old Media have all the fun, the weedsteeler staff just got a glass of water and are ready to, well, umm… i guess the picture says it all…
List after the jump.
Best privately funded art center – wexner center
Best Cult – Xenos
Best scandal – marvin the robot stabbing
Best drug epidemic – Oxycontin
Best swindle – the people who live in skylab being bums and almost getting evicted and then begging for money on the internet.
Best joke of the year – that wonderbread bullshit
Best news source – Weedsteeler.com
Best local paper for lining a bird cage with – Columbus Alive
Best local record label – CDR – out the trunk (tie)
Best bar – Bernard’s (nard-dogs)
Best live venue – midgard comics
Best band – unholy two
Best rapper – Catalyst
Best DJ – Detox
Best new band – human boys
Best new band other than human boys – mugger
Best band I have no interest in hearing – karate coyote
Best budget brunch spot – lindeys
Best local eatery – Yau’s
Best hospital cafeteria – grant medical center cafeteria
Best macaroon- pistacio vera
Best place to get raped- 4 kegs closet
Best late night food- M’s southern style
Best lunch buffet – Kahoots
Best crime problem – murder spree
Best dancer – Ed Luna
Best Internet joke – the fact that the two main local blogs are run by people who live out of state (sorta)
Best waitress – Liz Lessner
Best thing about not living in Columbus – the pussy
Best pussy out – American girls
Best blow job -British girls
Best skin lightening – Mayor Coleman
Best new graffiti writer – ALOT
Best use of public money to encourage the talentless – street art commitee
Best short north gallery – oh wait.. there aren’t any!
Best place to masturbate in public – 15th and high.
Best place to get accosted by suicidal bums – 18th and high.
Best place to fuck in public – Evolved tattoo front lawn.
Best place to murder someone – Behind bernies.
Best tattoo parlor – the one that hired Darius
Best place to score – weinland park
Best new store – voodoo denims lounge 😦
You won’t be around in 2011 award – Rad Dog