Finding adequate gifts for your family, friends, and associates is a struggle. With Christmas no more than days away, your time has pretty much run out. At this point, you may or may not have all come to the realization of your consumerist failure to meet the demands of the holiday season. The benevolent Weedsteeler.com has come to your aid to point out your flaws and help you find those in others. Hold on to your gift receipts and without further ado…
FOR THE FILM BUFF
This clip pretty much speaks for itself (nsfw).
Exterminator City has something for everyone and you sure missed the boat on this one. Boobs, robots, death. What else is there to life? Available on Amazon.com.
FOR THE LITERATI
Alfie’s Home is a modern classic that, while presented in the guise of a children’s book, holds unalienable truths for all of your emotional peers at the daycare.
FOR THE TIKE
It’s never too early to give children a dose of reality. Kids will be kids; they may have snot bubbles gurgling from one nostril and a soft spot like a rotten peach, but they all grow to be your average Americans like the ones in front of you in traffic. Get them a step ahead of the game, the Playmobil Security Checkpoint is the best prep for the imminent military-state-to-come.
FOR THE FASHIONISTA
These are actually all sold out. This is really just a reminder of the significance of our fledgling blog.
FOR THE GUY THAT DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING
The best gift you could have given little Ricky this holiday season is the gift of acceptance. That’s what the The Comfort Sleeve is for. No longer does he need to feel uncomfortable in the roles he’s always wanted to play.
FOR THE GUY THAT HAS IT ALL
You probably should have been looking for the perfect gift to show Mom and Pop your gratitude in spite of all the inadequacies you were raised to possess. A little oriental getaway for two – or just Pop a getaway from Mom (see sex tourism) – would be the perfect solution. If you can find an insurance policy that covers radiation fallout zones, you could cash in big time and everybody wins with South Korean real estate. Kim Jong-Il may be the card that’s so high and wild that you will have to take the gamble. Browse here.
FOR THE SUBURBAN GANGSTA
What better way to honor the cross and the world’s most famous black man on his birthday?