Well Weed$teeler has compiled your holiday stocking stuffer list with impending doom in mind. After the jump, We’ve compiled 5 must have’s for you and your family’s inner paranoid shit maniac.
1. Rottweiler puppy (Anywhere from 500-3000$ USD Depending on quality desired. Available from a reputable breeder near you!)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like this mean son of a bitch. With a bite measured at over 300+ psi, this bone crushing specimen makes an excellent addition to our stocking stuffer guide.What does this mean for the survivalist? It means a loyal companion sure to keep the perimeter of your property air tight!
Just in case your “friend” asks you to join their “house church”
2. Wasp Injection knife ($399.95 USD from WASP Injection Systems. Inc. )
Another excellent stocking stuffer with the kids in mind, And boy does this small knife pack a huge punch!. What’s so special about this ordinary looking pocket knife? The WASP’s official website explains..
“This weapon injects a freezing cold ball of compressed gas, approximately the size of a basketball, at 800psi nearly instantly. The effects of this injection will drop many of the world’s largest land predators. [Editors note: Read Large predators as anyone who wants to seize your guns] The effects of the compressed gas not only cause over-inflation during ascent when used underwater, but also freezes all tissues and organs surrounding the point of injection on land or at sea. When used underwater, the injected gas carries the predator to the surface BEFORE blood is released into the water. Thus giving the diver added protection by diverting other potential predators to the surface. “
“Sorry about your hard luck”
The WASP comes in a variety of colors and is offered with custom engraving. The company website also recommends the WASP as a gift for active military, an excellent way to “give our troops the edge!”. However if you or your family is in this situation, Weed$teeler suggests you may want to enter a more respectable form of employment
3. Junk Silver – (Prices depend on current market conditions. Conduct your own Due diligence and contact a reputable buyer)
You may remember our gold bullion recommendation in last years “2009 Unholy Gift Guide”, (and I might add, written by one of Weedsteeler’s finest contributors, Mr. Andrew Marc.) Well since that date, Gold is up nearly 20%! Of course we here at Weedsteeler don’t recommend you buy at tops, that’s why this year; even with it’s recent run-up, we see silver as a great value. 90% silver by weight, legal tender, and typically sold at a discount to silver bullion, Junk Silver makes a great gift for the family member looking to exit the world’s biggest chain letter
4. The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene (12.00$ USD + shipping from Amazon.com)
As the world becomes increasingly dirtier and more manipulative, this modern day classic; popular with rappers and wall street executives, offers the alternative amoral lifestyle for those wishing to become successful at any cost.
A great stocking stuffer for the young adult, this book can teach children many important early life lessons such as…
Law 7 “Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit”
Law 12 “Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim”
Law 17 “Keep others in suspended terror: Cultivate an air of unpredictability”
Law 20 “Do not commit to anyone”
Law 27 “Play of people’s need to believe to create a cult like following”
Super Duper Jew Robert Greene discussing thug life
5. Deluxe Illuminati card game – ($27.41 USD + shipping from Amazon.com)
In 1995 after many editions of his popular themed “Illuminati” card game, Steve Jackson created his expansion set Illuminati: New World Order . Detailing the attacks on the pentagon and World Trade Center building 6 years in advance (See: Inside Job). This game provides the opportunity to show your family how the world really works (i.e. You’re fucked) without sounding like a ranting/raving lunatic (as the author of this article you’re currently reading so frequently does.)
(Above )- Top globalist Zbigniew Brzezinski apparently unaware that the man with the sword (Jackson-left) knows his entire gameplan for world government