Week 17 NFL Picks: The End Is Nigh

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Last week was a sorta no-brainer. Good teams win and the crummy ones lose. If you were a gambler, you would have posted a pretty good record going with the favorites (I did!). I’m not listing the overall record this week because none of that matters. We’re looking at benched starters and other teams to phone it in.

PICKS!!!!

Dolphins at Patriots- here is a prime example of benched starters and phoning it in. Dolphins have made a season out of being lame. Pats have no reason to even unlock the stadium. Pats.

Vikings at Lions- if anyone can get a read on the Vikings let me know. It seems that they will show up on occasion. Will Sunday be any different? I’ll take the Lions since it is at home.

Panthers at Falcons- so the Panthers put up something offensive on Thursday; 74 passing yards. That is on some Joe Montana Sports Talk Football junk playing your cousin who is missing fingers and destroying him on the Sega. Falcons.

Raiders at Chiefs- the Chiefs have half a reason to show up and I would love to see Jamaal Charles set the average per yard record above Jim Brown and Barry Sanders. Chiefs play hard.

Steelers at Browns- McCoy had a bad day against the Ravens but the Browns played tough. I’m going Steelers because they need this one to take the division but it will be a good game.

Bills at Jets- Payless Shoe Store masturbator and pizza baron, Rex Ryan, said he may bench Sanchez because his shoulder hurts. That may help the Jets… I’ll take Bills.

Bucs at Saints- kinda meaningless. Saints.

Bengals at Ravens- Ravens are going to ball hard against Cinci for the sole reason that if the Browns beats the Steelers then the Ravens get 2nd seed. Ravens.

Bears at Packers- best game of the week in my mind. Packers are kinda getting it together. I expect a nasty game with the Packers taking it.

Giants at Redskins- fighting for they lives like they terminal game of the week. Giants need it and I expect them to get’erdone against Grossman….. why Grossman???????

Jaguars at Texans- I was wayyyy off with the Texans this season (and the Jags for that matter). This is the fighting for they lives like they terminal game for the coaches. They may both be gone for next season. I’ll take… god they are both pretty bad. TX?

Cowboys at Eagles- so Andy Reid is kinda in a good spot, he entrusts Kolb so he could bench Vick to keep him healthy. Either way, it’s another sunny day in Philly.

Titans at Colts- Um, Colts?

Chargers at Broncos- beach bums versus some dude who goes on missionary trips to cut the foreskin off children. What???? For your next trip do you want to introduce Africans to what passes as a McDonalds hamburger? Keep your western (christian) ideas in your pants, blood. Chargers.

Cardinals at 49ers-Juicy J couldn’t say it better, “KILL YO’SELF!!!”

Rams at Seahawks- that one dude from the Seahawks is hurt (like the only dude anyone has ever heard of). Rams.

No monday night game….. get ready for post NFL depression……

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1 Comment

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One response to “Week 17 NFL Picks: The End Is Nigh

  1. brandon

    Alternate title, Farve fined $50,000 for keeping a jungle down there

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