SEVEN AND SEVEN last week. Ugh. Thanks Browns, Bengals, Jets, Jags and Cowboys for messing up my week. 50-26 overall, dipping under the .500 mark. On to the picks.
Panthers (1-3)/ Bucaneers (0-5)-I’m getting the sinking feeling that in order to punish states that voted Democrat, Fox will air the shittiest NFC games. States that voted Retardlican will receive the good games. Fuck. Panthers.
Browns (1-4)/ Steelers (3-2)- Let’s face it, Mangini is the shit. How this slob gets a job in Cleveland is beyond me. Trades away the two decent offensive players in exchange for Layzie Bone and the Ying Yang Twin with the baby hand. Yet, Browns fans are still in the stands like flies drawn to shit. Kudos Browns fans. Is the winner a question?
Giants (5-0)/ Saints (4-0)- Game of the week. I’m taking the Giants because of their 3-0 road record. I feel that we’ll see them play again in the playoffs.
Ravens (3-2)/ Vikings (5-0)- this game seems somewhat interesting. Ravens defense is slipping. Vikings have the firepower in a geezer and AP. That stupid dome of theirs is going to be loud in this win.
Rams (0-5)/ Jaguars (2-3)- I’m glad the Jags are playing the Rams this week because the Jags so inconsistient that they get destroyed by shit teams. Rams have the following going for them…. actually Rush Limbaugh is trying to buy them so painkiller endorsements on the way to St. Louis.
Lions (1-4)/ Packers (2-2)- I don’t want to write about this. Pack.
Cheifs (0-5)/ Redskins (2-3)- we’ve got a full on indian war here. Who wins? I can tell you one thing, I would rather be gambling or drinking than gambling on this game and drinking while watching it. Redskins.
Texans (2-3)/ Bengals (4-1)- Texans are the bane of my existence (along with the Cardinals- whenever I pick them to win, they self destruct). I like the Bengals in this though Texans put up big numbers weekly but allow big numbers. Shoot out?
Cardinals (2-2)/ Seahawks (2-3)- Battle of the birds. Who would care? My dad is a closet Seahawks fan (homosexual). Cards win. Sorry dad.
Eagles (3-1)/ Radiers (1-4)- Awwww yeah, west coast bad boys invade Killadelphia. Lock up your daughters and assistant coaches because Tom Cable is coming to kill them. JaMarcus Russel is probably the coolest dude in the NFL. QB rating of like 11 AND STILL STARTS! WTF.com. McNabb shows him how to be a successful QB and then Mike Vick lectures Russel on dog fighting while “winking” the entire time.
Bills (1-4)/ Jets (3-2)- Poor T.O. was lied to when he was duped into being a Bill. All that bum had to do was watch another teams game to see that they suck. Instead T.O. has his own highlight reel playing throughout his house to a soundtrack of shitty smooth jazz. Jets are a little butthurt over their two losses. Rex Ryan turns up the slob factor and pow…the ol slob one two. Leaves you knocked on your back with heartburn.
Titans (0-5)/ Patriots (3-2)- what would have been a good game 12 months ago. Will the racist Titans start “Suicide’? Will it even matter? Patriots win.
Bears (3-1)/ Falcons (3-1)- this is another good game for the NFC. I’m glad it’s the late Sunday game. I never get to watch Atlanta. I’m giving the Falcons the nod because they have been on a bigger roll than the Bears.
Broncos (5-0)/ Chargers (2-2) – Chargers are too busy to show up. They’ve been “bro”ing out, meeting chicks and surfing meanwhile the Broncos have been winning games.